


5 Times Zim Bit Dib and One Time Dib Bit Zim Back

by PhoenixAccio



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Biting, Gen, Irken Dib (Invader Zim), Needles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 21:27:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20937011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixAccio/pseuds/PhoenixAccio
Summary: what if irkens were venomous would that be messed up or what





	5 Times Zim Bit Dib and One Time Dib Bit Zim Back

"Hey, Zim, class is over," Dib said, looking down at the Irken, who was hunched over with his head on his desk, drooling slightly

"Come on, wake up, you can go home now. You know, like a normal human?"

Zim still didn't stir, so Dib grabbed his shoulder, shaking it. He leaned down to get right in Zim's face. If this didn't work, he was leaving, he decided.

"ZIM," he hissed at the unconcious alien.

"WAUGH??" Zim yelped, flailing. Dib doubted Zim even knew where he was right now. It was sort of funny, he observed.

It very quickly became significantly less funny when Zim's teeth came into contact with Dib's arm. At first, Dib didn't even move. He was so surprised that he didn't even try to stop Zim's teeth from sinking into the flesh of his arm. The trance was momentary, however. Dib blinked as he processed what he was seeing, and as soon as his brain caught up with him, Dib screetched, yanking his arm away from Zim and holding it protectively to his chest.

"What the hell, dude?" Dib yelled. "You-- Did you just bite me??"

"WELL YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE WOKEN ZIM UNEXPECTEDLY," Zim retorted defensively.

"How was I supposed to warn you I was about to wake you up??" Dib demanded, his voice high and pitchy with anger. "You were asleep!"

"YOU SHOULD HAVE FIGURED SOMETHING OUT. WITH YOUR ENORMOUS HUMAN MEAT HEAD!"

"MY HEAD ISN'T--" Dib stopped as his injured arm entered his line of sight.

"Big," he finished, quieter, as he stared at his arm held out in front of him. The area around Zim's bite had swollen alarmingly, and was tinted slightly green.

"Uh," Dib commented eloquently.

"It is just Zim's venom," Zim dismissed. "The Dib-human will be fine. Probably."

"Your what??" 

"My venom!" Zim replied, speaking as if Dib had just told him he didn't know what shoes were. "The Dib human has his own, does he not? Why are you being so awkward about this??"

"No??" Dib replied, perplexed and intrigued. "Zim, humans don't have venom, how do you not know that by now? We don't just go around biting each other."

"Zim assumed you all just had very good restraint!" Zim replied defensively.

Dib was ready to reply, but just then, the bite wound throbbed in a particularly painful way, and he cut himself off.

"That really isn't looking great," Dib said faintly.

"Yes. If you are not venomous, Zim does not know how your ffffilthy human flesh will react to this. You should probably seek medical attention."

"What do you mean, seek medical attention??? I can't go to the hospital, how am I supposed to explain a human sized, venomous bite?? There are fang marks!"

"Ah. Zim sees your point." the Irken conceded.

"I dunno where else--" Dib started to say, but cut himself off.

"My dad," he realized. "He can probably figure out how to fix this. This bite is clearly alien, too, maybe he'll finally belive me!"

"Yes, yes," Zim dismissed Dib. "Just take us to your human Skin-Father so I can go home without your fellow humans trying to avenge you or something!"

"Fine!" Dib shot back, and started walking purposefully towards the door. As he turned, he swayed slightly, dizzy, but both he and Zim, thankfully, pointedly ignored it.

*

Dib stumbled into his unlocked house, passing Gaz, who looked up just long enough to inform Dib that he was an idiot for letting Zim bite him, before returning to her game. The two boys ignored her, making a beeline for Professor Membrane's basement lab. Zim took out his pak legs to climb down the stairs, grabbing Dib as he passed him and carrying him with him down the stairs. Dib let out a disoriented yelp, but allowed it.

Zim's PAK legs retracted as he reached the bottom of the stairs, but he didn't let go of Dib as he addressed the startled Professor Membrane before them.

"DIBFATHER!" Zim announced. "FIX YOUR SPAWN!"

"What do you mean, fix him?" Professor Membrane replied. "What's going on?"

"Zim bit me!" Dib tried to sound angry, but it was hard to be aggressive when you felt like you were about to pass out, or puke, or both.

"He... bit you?" Professor Membrane asked, confused.

"Yes, yes, Zim is venomous!" Zim replied quickly. "It is part of his 'skin condition'."

Membrane opened his mouth as if to question this, then closed it again, brushing the statement off with a shake of his head.

"Zim, put my son down on the worktable. Dib, I need you to show me where he bit you."

Both boys nodded, and as soon as Dib was sitting on the table, he held out the affected arm weakly. Membrane frowned, taking the limb in his hands for a closer look. After a moment, he nodded resolutely, before turning to rifle through a nearby drawer. After a moment, he straightened up, holding in one hand a jar with what appeared to be fabric of some sort stretched tight over the mouth.

"Zim, could you to bite this for me? I need a venom sample."

"Fine," Zim replied, taking the jar. "If it is necessary to fix the Dib-human."

Zim bit into the jar, and venom did indeed spurt from his fangs into the jar as he did so. After the venom was all in the jar, Zim pulled off, gagging slightly.

"That felt hhhhorrible," the Irken hissed, sticking out his tongue in displeasure.

"I know, but it's a necessary step," Membrane replied, accepting the jar from Zim and turning back around. He added a few components from small vials he pulled from his many drawers and cabinets, and mixed the solution vigourously before pouring it into a syringe. Membrane tapped the barrel lightly to remove any air bubbles, and returned to the worktable. Wasting no time, he pressed the needle into Dib's arm, and depressed the plunger completely. Membrane removed the syringe, and dropped it into a nearby disposal unit, before returning his attention to his son. The greenish tint of the bite wound was already beginning to fade.

"He should be feeling better shortly," Membrane assured Zim. "Perhaps you should take him to his room so he can recover in a more comfortable environment."

Without replying, though, Zim had already left. Membrane sighed, and picked Dib up, heading for the stairs. There was nothing in his lab right now that couldn't wait.


End file.
